Some of you know I am a Soldier. I've been in for twelve years now. I won't claim to know everything about the military, but I do have some insight, especially when it comes to training in and around my city.
The Army Reserves have a center at 4300 and 4301 Goodfellow Blvd located in North St. Louis. If you know my fair city, you will see that location and think, oh, that's not the happiest place to be. And while it is no Disneyland, it also isn't Somalia.
In a story from STLToday, local Military Police soldiers are practicing driver's training in the streets of St. Louis. And while the predictable jokes about North St. Louis = war zone are present, the conspiracy people are the most delicious of the mental droppings.
Let me give you a little insight before we jump feet first into the dark world of Illuminati lizard people. MPs need to train on vehicles, especially the ones they would use overseas. It's best to have other vehicles on the road for them to navigate and share the streets with. Even though Afghanistan doesn't have the population density we enjoy here in the states, there are still people on the road you need to watch out for.
However, the citizens of St. Louis know something different. Something dark an ominous brewing in the underground caves filled with dastardly Scientologists, mole people and presidents without long form birth certificates.
So here we have the typical jokes one would expect. I imagine both Perry Smith and Tom Stokes believe they are the epitome of humor with their observations. These are the kinds of people that 'Internet-lazy' needs to become a thing for. A friend explained this to me earlier in the week. It's a special kind of lazy where looking up information on the computer in front of you is just too much work, so you continue your ignorance and look up cat photos instead. However, this doesn't seem to affect the criminally stupid when it comes to posting comments online. In fact, these people feel a draw to posting online with even the most mundane of thoughts and jokes.
This is what happen when you don't hug your kid enough. Or hug them too much. I'm not too sure, but there is a middle ground being missed here. This is a weird cry of attention and it is unwelcome in my comments sections. From now on, no one is allowed to comment on STLToday stories unless it's about Nobama, liberals ruining the world or darkies. Everyone else just keep your fingers to yourselves.
Anyway, let's ramp up the crazy, shall we?
No generally I wouldn't use something like this. It's an incomplete sentence, has egregious misspellings and hardly makes sense when you read the original article. But we have to start small. This blog is like that shitty mix tape you made for your high school girl friend when you got to touch some over the shirt boob. Start slow and move to a crescendo. We have to do it right!
See? That's how it's done. Come right out and say what you're thinking. The government is preparing Soldiers to enforce Martial Law because we are all mindless robots waiting for orders from our dear leader. We will need to put down the black uprising once Obama loses the presidency!
Some might say I'm looking too far into a simple comment. Some also might say the original comment was taken in an odd direction and deserves to be mocked. That person is probably me.
Melissa D Lantz has the squeaky wheels turning slowly but surely. A real conspiracy starts with one person asking sane questions. Why not just fly 200 soldiers to the east coast? Wouldn't that be cheaper than putting some vehicles on a train and shipping them to STL? That shit IS fishy, especially with barracks-like structures ALL OVER the US.
I'm not too sure where theses unexplained Barracks structures are, but if you are under the impression that crazy is going to cite locations or resources, you're going to be waiting a while. To be honest, a Soldier can sleep anywhere, so all buildings are technically barracks-like structures. I'll bet Melissa didn't know she was living in one ALL THIS TIME! Bitch, we are going to sleep ALL UP IN your office!
Yes, it is cheaper to bring vehicles and a couple instructors to St. Louis than it is to fly and house a couple hundred people elsewhere. Perhaps Melissa just doesn't have the critical thinking necessary for logistics. I'll let this slide. For now.
And here we go.
Let me address the first half of this statement before we get into the fun of the second. These vehicles aren't going to do any more damage than the shit ton of cars, trucks and 18-wheelers roaming free on the highways. The MPs aren't running damn M1 Abrams tanks down I-70. I imagine there will be some MRAPs, some Armored Humvees, perhaps a Stryker or two. None of these vehicles are dangerous to the precious streets of St. Louis. I guess Kevin O'Conner believes our streets to be made of crepe paper or something.
Now let's hit that second sentence. Kevin believes these Soldiers are in training for November. I assume he means the presidential elections. What I cannot assume is what exactly the Soldiers are training for. I have created a scenario which I believe is what Kevin could be concerned about.
November comes and the elections are held. In a startling display of what some will call solidarity, but other will call coincidence, the American population decides they are fed up with the current two party system and votes third party. However, since third party is also laughable, everyone just writes "Bugs Bunny" down and shrugs their shoulders. As the returns are counted, straight faced news anchors and talking heads are forced to report an upswing in Bugs Bunny votes without breaking character. Interns will scramble to immediately vet Presidential candidate Bunny and dig up obscure racism and cross-dressing in various cartoon episodes. Despite their best efforts, Bugs is still elected President and both Democrats and Republicans hate him. "Journalists" dredge up thousands of hours of degrading things done against defenseless hunters (anti-gun) stereotypical representation of South Pacific islanders (racist), Black face (different kind of racist used by a different side) and other references to Looney Tunes relating, but not limited to: Communism, pro big government, pro small government, against religion, support of homophobic organizations, religion, atheism and whatever else sticks to the wall.
Meanwhile, the original voice of Bugs Bunny is needed for an acceptance speech. After unanimously rejecting the idea of using the current voice actor for Bugs Bunny (citing "It just doesn't sound right" as the official reason) American Scientists must prepare to reanimate Mel Blanc. Sadly, they don't have the proper knowledge to bring back a person who has been dead for over twenty years, and in an act of desparation must turn to the Russians. Vladimir Putin offers to help graciously, but forces the United States into a money agreement which can only be described as 'loan sharkian' in nature. Because of this, and Putin's repeated visits while mumbling under his breath "This is a nice country. You sure wouldn't want to get radioactivity all over it" causes a country-wide panic.
And while all of this is happening, our zombie presidential voice is only capable of moaning into a microphone (As America does the same thing we all do and doesn't read the Russian EULA). The country is left in debt and leaderless and factions of the military split apart. America falls into territories controlled by warlords who must still pay tribute to Mother Russia and chaos reigns. Soldiers prepare to guard their homeland against all invasion...
Scary shit, dudes.
I want to commend Tom Stokes for not being the normal conspiracy nut and blaming these training exercises on Obama or the fictional cartoon wars. He is hoping for Martial Law. I cannot assume to say anyone is liberal or conservative based on comments they leave on a website, and I honestly don't know what Martial Law falls under when it comes to the political spectrum.
It seems Tom is going to be upset if soldiers aren't rolling through the streets of St. Louis with a gun which can pierce the sides of a tank. I'm fine with his disappointment. I'm glad Soldiers aren't going to be gunning down American citizen in my city, no matter how 'thug' you believe them to be. There is a reason people in Iraq and Afghanistan have been planting explosives next to roads and killing Soldiers. It's because they don't like it when people from the other side of the world shoot at them.
So Tom, thanks for being the real asshole here. I expect the rest of them. I expects conspiracy morons, logistical morons, political morons and...just regular morons, I suppose. You, however, are unAmerican. You are hoping the government comes into St. Louis and shoots up the North Side to knock some fear into the locals. I remember the last guy who did that. His name was Hitler, Tom. Way to go and be Hitler all over my comments section.
Jerk.
The Army Reserves have a center at 4300 and 4301 Goodfellow Blvd located in North St. Louis. If you know my fair city, you will see that location and think, oh, that's not the happiest place to be. And while it is no Disneyland, it also isn't Somalia.
In a story from STLToday, local Military Police soldiers are practicing driver's training in the streets of St. Louis. And while the predictable jokes about North St. Louis = war zone are present, the conspiracy people are the most delicious of the mental droppings.
Let me give you a little insight before we jump feet first into the dark world of Illuminati lizard people. MPs need to train on vehicles, especially the ones they would use overseas. It's best to have other vehicles on the road for them to navigate and share the streets with. Even though Afghanistan doesn't have the population density we enjoy here in the states, there are still people on the road you need to watch out for.
However, the citizens of St. Louis know something different. Something dark an ominous brewing in the underground caves filled with dastardly Scientologists, mole people and presidents without long form birth certificates.
This is what happen when you don't hug your kid enough. Or hug them too much. I'm not too sure, but there is a middle ground being missed here. This is a weird cry of attention and it is unwelcome in my comments sections. From now on, no one is allowed to comment on STLToday stories unless it's about Nobama, liberals ruining the world or darkies. Everyone else just keep your fingers to yourselves.
Anyway, let's ramp up the crazy, shall we?
No generally I wouldn't use something like this. It's an incomplete sentence, has egregious misspellings and hardly makes sense when you read the original article. But we have to start small. This blog is like that shitty mix tape you made for your high school girl friend when you got to touch some over the shirt boob. Start slow and move to a crescendo. We have to do it right!
See? That's how it's done. Come right out and say what you're thinking. The government is preparing Soldiers to enforce Martial Law because we are all mindless robots waiting for orders from our dear leader. We will need to put down the black uprising once Obama loses the presidency!
Some might say I'm looking too far into a simple comment. Some also might say the original comment was taken in an odd direction and deserves to be mocked. That person is probably me.
Melissa D Lantz has the squeaky wheels turning slowly but surely. A real conspiracy starts with one person asking sane questions. Why not just fly 200 soldiers to the east coast? Wouldn't that be cheaper than putting some vehicles on a train and shipping them to STL? That shit IS fishy, especially with barracks-like structures ALL OVER the US.
I'm not too sure where theses unexplained Barracks structures are, but if you are under the impression that crazy is going to cite locations or resources, you're going to be waiting a while. To be honest, a Soldier can sleep anywhere, so all buildings are technically barracks-like structures. I'll bet Melissa didn't know she was living in one ALL THIS TIME! Bitch, we are going to sleep ALL UP IN your office!
Yes, it is cheaper to bring vehicles and a couple instructors to St. Louis than it is to fly and house a couple hundred people elsewhere. Perhaps Melissa just doesn't have the critical thinking necessary for logistics. I'll let this slide. For now.
And here we go.
Let me address the first half of this statement before we get into the fun of the second. These vehicles aren't going to do any more damage than the shit ton of cars, trucks and 18-wheelers roaming free on the highways. The MPs aren't running damn M1 Abrams tanks down I-70. I imagine there will be some MRAPs, some Armored Humvees, perhaps a Stryker or two. None of these vehicles are dangerous to the precious streets of St. Louis. I guess Kevin O'Conner believes our streets to be made of crepe paper or something.
Now let's hit that second sentence. Kevin believes these Soldiers are in training for November. I assume he means the presidential elections. What I cannot assume is what exactly the Soldiers are training for. I have created a scenario which I believe is what Kevin could be concerned about.
November comes and the elections are held. In a startling display of what some will call solidarity, but other will call coincidence, the American population decides they are fed up with the current two party system and votes third party. However, since third party is also laughable, everyone just writes "Bugs Bunny" down and shrugs their shoulders. As the returns are counted, straight faced news anchors and talking heads are forced to report an upswing in Bugs Bunny votes without breaking character. Interns will scramble to immediately vet Presidential candidate Bunny and dig up obscure racism and cross-dressing in various cartoon episodes. Despite their best efforts, Bugs is still elected President and both Democrats and Republicans hate him. "Journalists" dredge up thousands of hours of degrading things done against defenseless hunters (anti-gun) stereotypical representation of South Pacific islanders (racist), Black face (different kind of racist used by a different side) and other references to Looney Tunes relating, but not limited to: Communism, pro big government, pro small government, against religion, support of homophobic organizations, religion, atheism and whatever else sticks to the wall.
Meanwhile, the original voice of Bugs Bunny is needed for an acceptance speech. After unanimously rejecting the idea of using the current voice actor for Bugs Bunny (citing "It just doesn't sound right" as the official reason) American Scientists must prepare to reanimate Mel Blanc. Sadly, they don't have the proper knowledge to bring back a person who has been dead for over twenty years, and in an act of desparation must turn to the Russians. Vladimir Putin offers to help graciously, but forces the United States into a money agreement which can only be described as 'loan sharkian' in nature. Because of this, and Putin's repeated visits while mumbling under his breath "This is a nice country. You sure wouldn't want to get radioactivity all over it" causes a country-wide panic.
And while all of this is happening, our zombie presidential voice is only capable of moaning into a microphone (As America does the same thing we all do and doesn't read the Russian EULA). The country is left in debt and leaderless and factions of the military split apart. America falls into territories controlled by warlords who must still pay tribute to Mother Russia and chaos reigns. Soldiers prepare to guard their homeland against all invasion...
Scary shit, dudes.
I want to commend Tom Stokes for not being the normal conspiracy nut and blaming these training exercises on Obama or the fictional cartoon wars. He is hoping for Martial Law. I cannot assume to say anyone is liberal or conservative based on comments they leave on a website, and I honestly don't know what Martial Law falls under when it comes to the political spectrum.
It seems Tom is going to be upset if soldiers aren't rolling through the streets of St. Louis with a gun which can pierce the sides of a tank. I'm fine with his disappointment. I'm glad Soldiers aren't going to be gunning down American citizen in my city, no matter how 'thug' you believe them to be. There is a reason people in Iraq and Afghanistan have been planting explosives next to roads and killing Soldiers. It's because they don't like it when people from the other side of the world shoot at them.
So Tom, thanks for being the real asshole here. I expect the rest of them. I expects conspiracy morons, logistical morons, political morons and...just regular morons, I suppose. You, however, are unAmerican. You are hoping the government comes into St. Louis and shoots up the North Side to knock some fear into the locals. I remember the last guy who did that. His name was Hitler, Tom. Way to go and be Hitler all over my comments section.
Jerk.
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