Call it lazy if you like, but you can't look at me with a straight face and tell me that politics are exciting. No politician has ever been exciting since 1856. The only thing I do to mark politics is take the day off after a presidential election to get smashed on my couch watching the returns. Everyone needs a tradition.
While politics are boring, I do tend to keep an eye on the political ticker of America. Not enough to have meaningful thoughts on the matters at hand, but enough to laugh at the people who do follow it and still have no idea what they are talking about.
This article from KSDK may be a little dated, but it's from March of 2012, so I'm going to call it fair game. Another person is looking into the birth certificate of the current president and the local Saint Louis gigglepits are cheering their latest hero.
Orville Rinderer is my favorite of the three here. I'm not sure in what way Obama is a bigger crook, seeing as how there has not been a scandal with the media's favorite suffix '-gate' attached to his presidency. Also, I have to wonder about his usage of the term "Nixon 1". Perhaps Orville forgot to hold down the shift key while going for an exclamation point. Or maybe there actually were TWO Nixons! Nixon 1 was the real crook who hatched the Watergate break in while Nixon 2 was the fall guy. The patsy who had to take the punishment and live the rest of his life as the disgraced king of the republicans.
I would be much better at politics than anyone actually involved. My conspiracies are also much more entertaining.
Fuck, it's just as I thought. Robert Wood tells us there is no legit birth certificate. There is no proof he was born. Screw the birthers, the truthers, the moon landing-ers. Finally I have been legitimized. Obama was not born.
He was hatched!
THE LIZARD PEOPLE ARE AMONG US!
There are plenty of other comments talking about how it's racist to ask for the birth certificate while people respond TRUTH IS NEVER RACIST! To be fair, I don't know if race is 100% of the driving force here. Imagine if we had a president born in Alaska to an American woman and a French man name Pierre.
Americans would shit themselves pretty hard looking for that birth certificate to make sure some frog doesn't become our president and force snails and berets on the people. I can see it now. Protest signs clamoring to have our freedom to shower and be fat. Rallies to restore beer as the favored drink of America, not that nasty, alcoholic grape juice the Frenchies drink. The oncoming baguette wars. All manner of people worried about the president getting rid of Christianity and forcing...
Wait, let me check what the biggest religion in France is...
Catholicism.
Alright, yeah. People asking for the MOAR BIRF CERTIFIKAT! sound pretty racist, especially if you put it all in caps and use lolcat spelling. It goes back to my post about black people in the news. Whenever it's a white guy committing a crime, people pray for the family or the victims, but get all Raymond the Racist when it's a black guy. Maybe they hate the funny spelling of his name and his Muslim father either way, these people are belligerent morons who should have stayed in the primordial ooze.
I'd like to think the people calling for more birth certificates are just constitutionally aware and want the rules to be followed, but have a three minute conversation with a birther will make me realize they just don't like the idea of Muslims and darkies in the White House.
Personally, you could be a Scientology, Devil Worshiping Hell Beast who drinks the blood of virgins and I'd vote for you if you could bring the fucking budget under control.
HELL BEAST 2012! WHY VOTE FOR THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS?
I had forgotton about David Icke. Also, I found new bugshit tinfoil hat guy. Thank you for the time sink.
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